Important Note About This Article
Just to be clear, this article isn’t encouraging you to end your relationship. Only you can decide if it’s time to move on, and you should be 100% clear that it’s the right thing to do. This article is intended to give you someone else’s point of view on a situation you could be going through, and help you make an informed decision.
I myself have been in relationships that I know I should move on from, but somehow stayed in it for longer then I should have. At this stage of my life, I didn’t really have the support I needed to make the decision I really should have. Looking back and seeing things clearly now, it would have been best if I ended the relationship earlier.
So here is my view on things, hopefully it will help you in your current situation. Feel free to leave feedback in the comments or ask for some personal advice there.
Why The Break Up Of A Relationship Can Be A Good Thing
Before we go any further, I want to mention that the breaking up of you and your boyfriend doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can be a very good thing! It can spell the end of stress and pain, and allow you to both move on with your lives again (P.S. I didn’t intentionally try and make that rhyme 😉 ).
This could be the beginning of a new stage of your life. A life where you’re happy again, and you haven’t got any of the old things that were bringing you down! While you may not be ready to meet another guy straight away, this will eventually come too. You will have the excitement of finding a man, and you’ll eventually find someone that will make you very happy.
So don’t look at ending this relationship as a bad thing, look at it as a necessary stage in life that will lead to something better. A better lifestyle, and a better social life.
Relationship Break Up Signs
In all honesty, there are a number of different relationship break up signs. Couples break up for different reasons, so not all of these things may apply to you. Having said that, if one or more of these things apply to you and it’s a big issue, this may be a sign to move on:
He’s Not Willing To Commit To You
If you try and talk to your boyfriend about taking things to the next level and he constantly avoids the subject, this could mean he doesn’t want to commit to you. If you are after a long term relationship but he doesn’t seem to want the same, this will of course bring up a conflict in interest. No matter how much you like a guy, if he’s not willing to take your relationship to the next level in anyway, he may not be a long term partner for you.
Please note that I’m not saying you should dump your boyfriend if he’s not ready to marry you this precise minute. Some people need to be in the right stage of their lives before they can fully commit, and this is understandable if he talks to you and explains this to you. If however he just avoids the subject or you feel like he’s leading you on with false hope, then it may be best to get out before you become any more attached to him.
You may want to cut your losses sooner then later. It’s only going to happen down the line anyway, so why not save yourself the time and effort, and go and find a new boyfriend instead? One that is willing to eventually commit to you, and one that you can have a happy future with. If this is what you’re after, you’d be better off with someone who genuinely wants the same.
Small Things Turn Into Big Arguments That Can’t Get Solved
If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you’ve probably been through this faze before. Every little thing you or your boyfriend does is a big deal to you both, and causes a big argument. You start to really annoy each other, and you start to argue over even the smallest of things.
Like I said, this happens in most relationships at some point. While this isn’t reason enough for you to move on from this relationship by it’s self (This is a faze that you can get over if you both make a conscious effort), if you can’t stop this arguing faze and get back to normal, this could be reason to worry.
Being able to solve arguments and compromise is an important part in any relationship. All couples will argue. In fact, if you live closely to someone for any long period of time, you will end up having an argument with them, no matter who they are. It’s human nature.
There’s nothing wrong with arguing, it solves problems. If your arguments never reach a conclusion and continue to effect the partnership however, this is when you should start asking if this is the person for you. Constantly arguing and never being able to solve them can cause stress, something I’m sure neither of you will want.
Sometimes, personalities just clash. You may like something about each other, but as time goes on, you may realise there are other things you can’t handle about your other half. If these are things you can learn to live with, fair enough. If not though, you two as a couple may not work.
You Don’t Have Have Much Physical Contact Any More
If you started out having a lot of physical contact with your boyfriend but you don’t any more, this could be the sign of a relationship dying out. While it’s true there are factors that decrease a person’s desire to be as physical in bed, if you are in a loving relationship, your partner should still want to get close to you.
This could be in the form of cuddles, holding hands, or any other way to show your physical affection.
We require this affection as humans, and we want it from the people we love. If you try and approach your partner for this love and acceptance, the last thing you would expect them to do is keep pushing you away. If they do, there is a good chance you’ll end up feeling unfulfilled over time.
If this happens, you need to talk to your partner about how you feel. Let them know you need their touch, and you don’t appreciate them pushing you away every time. Hopefully they will realise the damage this is causing your relationship, and rectify that problem. If not, it may be time for a relationship break up. You deserve to be happy after all, and with a partner that gives you the love and affection you require. This is not too much to ask, so make sure you bring up this issue.
When Your Partner Is Abusive To You
If your partner is physically violent towards you, you should break up with them straight away! Physical violence is no way acceptable in a relationship, and shouldn’t be tolerated by anyone. If your boy friend has ever raised his hand to you, you should immediately move on and get over him.
There are plenty of guys out there that will treat you like a princess, so don’t settle for any guy that will treat you like less. Hitting should never be tolerated.
When Is It Time To Break Up – Don’t Let Fear Stop You
So, when is it time to break up? You know it’s time to break up if you are experiencing some of the above mentioned points. You will feel it in your guy if you’re ready, but fear may be holding you back. Fear of letting go of what you have worked on for so long, fear of being on your own again. But you have to face these fears!
Yes it may be scary and out of your comfort zone, but it is necessary. It will most likely happen sooner or later, so why delay the inevitable? And if it doesn’t happen, you are sentencing yourself to a lifetime of unhappiness. This I wouldn’t advise. You only live once, so why make it an uncomfortable ride? I’m not saying you have to live life to the extreme or even experience as many things as you can, I’m simply saying make sure you’re comfortable. Unhappiness isn’t cool…
Often, when you leave a relationship that’s not working out, you will feel a sigh of relief. I know I did. As much feelings as I had for one of my ex partners, they simply wasn’t good for me. And I knew it. It took me a while to break it off with them, but I knew it was going happen sooner or later. And it did.
Deep down you’ll know when it’s time to break up, you just need to make sure you do something about it.
When Is It Time To Move On Conclusion
You know if you and your boyfriend have reached the end. It may take a while to admit it to yourself or do something about it, but once you do, you’ll know it’s right. The end of a relationship doesn’t have to be something bad; Often it will allow you to actually move on and progress your life. If this relationship is bringing you down, why hang on to it? It simply doesn’t make sense.
The past isn’t enough of a reason to hold onto a dying relationship. You may have had good times in the past, but if the rest of your future looks bleak, it may be time to break up. Good luck making the right decision.
If you have any questions or comments on When Is It Time To Move On From A Relationship, please leave them in the comments section below.
Thank you for the info. I have been struggling for about a year to end a emotionally unhealthy relationship. Its going into the third year and he still Parks his car in another lot because we had to keep our relationshp d l. 3 months ago a women walked up to me and said she was his lover for the past year after we already had two in. He admitted it it was not what she made it out to be and I forgave him. Still cant seem to fully forget. I never touch his phone but when I did he had txt message from somebody about five years ago was trying to get with him. All of the sudden last year he changed his number so this had to be within the year of them exchanging new number. I have even heard him talking to another women on the phone when the phone switched over to me accidentally, him telling her when two people work together they can get anything done when they love each other …and just recently against the same thing he said he was talking to one of the tenants at his job. His tone just didn’t seem right…I want out bit he keeps me locked in by coming to mu rescue and then I feel obligated to stay cuz he loans me hus car, credit he use it to string me along. I do feel that he loves me,however its not deep enough …for me to stick around. I have broken up with him several time. He said his x use to break up with him every week! Im just so disappointed. ..we both 50 years old I just wanna be happy. This relationship keeps me balled up all the time ..
Hi CJ, I’m glad this article has been helpful. Helping you and other people in similar situations is what makes me carry on writing for this site.
It sounds like a very stressful relationship you’re in, and stressing for that amount of time isn’t ideal for anyone.
You need to try and become less reliant on him, how was you surviving financially before you met him? Get back on your own two feet, and leave him for good!
I understand you’re at the age where you want someone nice to settle down with, but this doesn’t sound like the guy. You can still meet someone else that is worth your time and attention, but first you need to end this relationship and move on. Good luck, let us know how it goes.