Question: Should I text him first?
Today’s question is from Jessica in Kent. She asks:
“I recently went on a first date with I guy I met through a friend. The date seemed to go well, and at the end we kissed and said we’ll talk soon. It’s been two days since then, and I haven’t heard back from him. Should I text him or wait until him contacts me?”
In this article we will answer that question, as well as look at some other situations in which it would or wouldn’t be best to text him 1st.
Answer – Why You Should Text Him First
Hi Jessica. In this situation, I would recommend you texting him first. While it can be nice and makes it easier if a guy makes first contact after a date, this won’t always happen.
There are three real reasons he may not have texted you yet:
- An Emotional Reason.
He may be too shy to contact you or thinks you don’t like him.
- A Physical Reason.
He hasn’t physically been able to contact you due to a lost number or something similar.
- He’s Not Interested In You.
You may not be his type, he may not feel like he bonded with you, or he may be interested in someone else.
Without trying to sound too negative, if you haven’t heard from a guy a few days after the first date, the third option sounds the most likely. You would normally contact someone if you like them, right?
Having said that, this isn’t always the case. As I mentioned, he may be too shy to contact you first, or feel that he’d be wasting his time as you don’t like him like that. It’s because of this that I recommend you go for it and text him anyway.
Knowing What He’s Thinking Is Better Then Obsessing Over It
The thing is, you’ll never know what’s going on unless you make the move and get in contact. A simple text such as ‘Hey, how are you?” is usually enough to get things started.
See if he makes any effort in his response. If he does great, you can let things flow from there. If he doesn’t reply or he replies with little effort (E.G. “I’m fine”), that will mean he’s not interested in dating you. In this case, don’t both reply or contact him again. Look for a man that you’ll be more compatible with, and that you share a two way attraction with.
Either way, texting first will mean that you won’t be sitting by the phone wondering whether he’ll call you or not. There’s nothing worse then not knowing whether he’s going to contact you, so just put yourself out of your misery and text him today!
When You Should Wait For Him To Text You First
Despite the above advice, there are some instances where it’d be best to not text him first. If he says he’ll call you for example, then it may be best to wait for that call. If you haven’t heard from him say three days after he says that, it might be safe to assume that he’s not going to call. This will probably be because he’s just not that into you, and he only said he’ll call out of habit or to be polite.
If this happens, stop thinking about him and move on with your life. Chances are you’ll never hear from you again. Don’t bother text him or wait for his message, he’s wasting your time. And you wouldn’t want to date a guy who has no respect for your time would you?
Should I Text Him First Conclusion
Should I text him first? In some instances it’d be best to contact him first. In this day and age, a woman is just as entitled to be able to make the first move as guy. Not only does it stop all the time wasting and guessing whether or not he’s interested, but some guys also like when a girl takes control and shows she wants to see him again.
If he’s said he’ll contact you however and he doesn’t, then this is a good sign he’s not that interested in you. At this point your should stop thinking about him and cut your losses. You gave it a try and it didn’t work. Now to find the man that really deserves what you have to offer.
If you have any questions of your own, please send them in via the contact form. If you do this, please note that what you send in may be published on this website for all to see. You can also see more texting related advice in our article on how to text a guy you like.
Now you know whether or not you should text him first, it’s time to either get in contact or get on with your life.